All w arm and snug and cosy, tucked up in bed with no drafts, no ice on the inside of the windows, no eleventh blanket to keep the cold out – why not have double-glazing?

Because it’s sound-proof, that’s why. Last night (actually, very early this morning), we lost 15 chickens and 3 Guinea-fowl, brutally murdered, and we didn’t hear a thing. It wasn’t until we were making breakfast that we finally heard one of our Guinea-fowl making a racket (which is why we have them!) and I wandered out to investigate. Bits and pieces of chicken spread all over the place, some very sad and sorry-looking survivors, and two unknown dogs rushing about in a frenzy. So much for electric fences and predator-proof chicken-coops.

Now, I don’t object too much if we lose animals to foxes or pine-martens (actually, I object a lot, but you know what I mean) – they were here first, they’re just trying to earn a living etc. But dogs? We have toted up the year’s losses, and at over 50 birds we have decided that the chicken-ark system is just too expensive to carry on with. No more moving our animals around the farm, ensuring a even spread of grazing and manure. All locked up in a big secure cage, just like the locals do it from now on. And why?

Because the worthless, feckless, useless idiot Greeks have a great system for un-needed dogs – if you don’t want it, throw it away. But don’t do anything responsible, like find a new home for it, take it to a rescue shelter or some such. Oh no, much more sensible to take it off to the countryside and release it into the wild. “Fly free my beauty! Cretins, the lot of them. What they are actually doing is saying “I don’t want to be responsible for killing this dog, so I’ll get some other poor idiot to do it for me”. So, one dog, suddenly homeless, makes a bee-line for the nearest house, gets side-tracked by chickens, and blood-bath ensues. Dog then shot by owner of chickens, and good result all round, except for the poor chickens.

If it was just an occasional thing, I could understand it, but it is constant, and getting worse, what with the economic position at the moment. So, if you are Greek, and reading this, tell me please why you are so offensively uncaring. unthinking, and generally all-round useless. Thanking you in anticipation.

In case you think I am being a little harsh – here is what we salvaged from this morning’s entertainment.

Hard to believe, but this used to be 20 chickens….

Had to count up heads (the only bit left in a couple of cases) to make sure some weren’t just missing in action. Our final surviving Guinea fowl is very sad now – hardly has the heart to bully anyone. Here’s another question – if you are planning to breed guinea-fowl, and you only have one, who does it work? Immaculate conception? Cloning? Answers on a postcard, addressed to the dogs’ original owners please.

Still, there is some good news – we still have a pair of turkeys, and the sheep weren’t bothered (locked up for the night, but then so were the chickens ). We also have 25 layers still, so we can fire up the incubator and crack on with the next generation, just as soon as everyone gets over the shock of new housing and starts laying again. The circle of life continues.